


It All Happened In June

by QueenBoudicatheGreat



Series: Tony Stark's Daycare Program for Gifted Children [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Again I'll add more tags as they become relevant, Gen, Jesus Christ summary is subject to change as well, Just not til chapter 5, Sibling Bonding, The rest of the Avengers will show up FYI
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-06-27 23:06:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15695202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenBoudicatheGreat/pseuds/QueenBoudicatheGreat
Summary: It's finally June and the Iron Kids are staying at the Compound. Surprising exactly nobody, putting three genius teenagers together (one of which has super powers) can cause a bit of a mess. Results may vary.





	1. In Which Riri Throws Harley In A Lake

**Author's Note:**

> This work is exactly 1111 words long and I spent a good 15 minutes editing it so it did. Appreciate my efforts. Side note: I still haven't quite decided if I want there to be a B-Plot with them fighting a bad guy despite the fact that Tony told them no. Tell me what you think.
> 
> ALSO! My friend KC is gonna be updating his fic tonight, so if you wanna cry, go check it out here <https://archiveofourown.org/works/15623904>

Saturday, June 1, 2019

Tony Stark loved many things. He loved parties, he loved romantic dinners with Pepper, he loved tinkering and building his suits. He loved a lot of things. However, one of his absolute favorite things was watching Peter get excited. He started talking even faster than he normally did, he gestured wildly, and he physically could not sit in one place. Peter was currently beyond excited, and Tony was having the time of his life drinking coffee and watching it unfold. He was pretty excited as well.

“FRIDAY, how much longer until they get here?” Peter asked from where he was sitting on the ceiling. Somehow, his pacing had led him up a wall and he’d announced that this was his new home for the month.

“Boss Baby’s plane should be landing momentarily with Iron Baby following close behind.”

“Wait, he’s here?” Peter gasped, eyes and mouth wide. He back flipped to the floor, beaming. “Mr. Stark, did you hear that?”

“I’m old not deaf,” Tony said flatly, but Peter was obviously ignoring him, already halfway out the door to the landing strip. Tony followed along behind, and by the time he got there, Peter had Harley wrapped up in a tight hug that had Harley laughing and kicking his feet in the air.

“Mr. Tony!” Harley beamed as soon as he noticed Tony standing there. He unwrapped himself from Peter’s arms, and gave Tony a warm hug. “It’s good to see you,” he said, eyes crinkled up in a bright smile.

Tony smiled back and ruffled his hair. “You, too, kid. How’s Tennessee been treating you?”

Harley shrugged. “Lots of cows. Nothing to do.”

“Don’t tell me you got into too much trouble while you were bored.”

“Come on, Mr. Tony. It’s like you don’t know me at all.”

Tony barked out a laugh. “Too much trouble for me to throw money at?”

“I doubt anyone could get into that much trouble.”

Tony scoffed. “I have a feeling the three of you are going to test that theory. God, what was I even thinking letting Pete convince me to have you three in the same place? Just two of you at a time is more than anyone should have to deal with.”

Peter made a huff of scathing protest. “You make out like you weren’t on board the moment the words left my mouth!” He turned to Harley and said seriously, “Literally, I barely had a chance to say the words before he was agreeing. I think he was already planning this without us.”

Harley put on a sly smile and Tony knew he was about to say something incredibly obnoxious, but FRIDAY cut in, her voice pleasant and chipper as always. “Iron Baby will be landing momentarily.”

“You sure meant it when you said she was right behind me,” Harley commented, taking a step back along with Peter and Tony as the aircraft landed, silently whipping wind around them.

“Yes. Iron Baby also asked me to tell you that she was particularly excited to see you, Boss Baby.”

Harley visibly brightened at that, and Tony hid his smile behind the hand he had folded over his mouth. With FRIDAY’s newest revelation, he and Peter stood on either side of Harley so he would be the first one Riri saw. However, when the doors opened, Riri wasn’t standing at the top of the ramp as expected. In fact, the plane appeared to be completely empty other than a couple suitcases. Tony tensed, a cold fear gripping his heart. “FRIDAY, where’s Riri?”

“Her plane just landed, Boss.”

“Yeah, well, she’s not in it!”

Peter suddenly whirled around and grabbed Harley by the shoulders. His face was pale, and his eyes were wide, and Tony could see the hairs on his arm standing straight up. “Harley, you gotta run. Now.”

“What?” Harley shook his head, sputtering. “Peter, what are you talking about? Riri’s missing, I can’t just--”

Peter shook him, his face more serious than Tony had ever seen it. “Harley, I’m telling you to get inside right now. Just trust--” 

A loud crash grabbed all their attention, and they turned to see Riri in the classic superhero landing, fully decked out in her Ironheart armour. Her mask opened up to reveal a very Cheshire grin curling her lips. “Hello, Keener. Good to finally meet.”

“Too late,” Peter said quietly. 

Harley suddenly understood. Face pale, he turned heel and ran faster than Tony had ever seen him move. It wasn’t fast enough though, and Riri took off, scooped him up under the arms and started flying away. Amidst his shrieking, Tony could hear Harley shout, “Your Spidey-Sense is shit, Parker!” before he was too far away.

Tony turned to Peter, who was practically trembling with suppressed giggles. “All right, kiddo. Spill.”

Peter broke, doubled over laughing so hard his face turned an alarming shade of red alarmingly fast. “Riri said--” He cut himself off wheezing. “Riri said she was gonna-- was gonna throw him in a lake! The first time they met! Holy shit, I can’t believe she’s actually doing it!”

Tony sighed deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose. These children were determined to try him. “Come on, Spider-Baby,” he said, tapping the arc reactor on his chest to form a suit around him. He took off, Peter hanging off like some sort of demented sky skier, following Riri’s path to the nearest lake. He dropped Peter off on shore next to Riri who was out of her suit and smiling like she’d done nothing wrong in her life, then flew to the middle of the lake where a rather grumpy-looking Harley was treading water. 

“So, do you want to tell me what all that was about?” Tony asked as his mask melted away. “Peter was too busy giggling to breathe, much less speak.”

Harley scowled up at him hovering a few feet above the water. “I may have threatened to murder someone and not responded when she asked for clarification. Don’t make a big deal out of it.”

Tony snorted, but scooped Harley up and took him to shore, no questions asked. Honestly, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. As soon as Harley’s feet touched ground, he bolted forward and wrapped Riri up in a tight hug, soaking her clothes, despite her shrieks of protest. Peter was cackling beside them until the two of them shared a look, and as one started chasing him into the trees. Shouted accusations of cheating from all three parties soon filtered out, and Tony felt a chuckle bubbling up in his chest.

This would be one hell of a month.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, FRIDAY does have code names for all of them. Harley is Boss Baby, Riri is Iron Baby, and Peter is Spider-Baby around people who know his identity and Geek Baby around those who don't. Don't @ me


	2. In Which Harley Shares Some Rather Big News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley finally gets around to telling Tony that he's going to Caltech after putting it off for four months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to KC because I know how much he loves Peter going to town on some mint chocolate chip! ;D

Sunday, June 2, 2019

 

One thing that Harley knew about Tony Stark that not a lot of other people knew was that he actually didn't like ice cream that much. Sure, he'd eat it if it was offered to him, and he definitely bought plenty of the Ben and Jerry's Avengers run, but generally it wasn't something he sought after. Harley asked him about it when Mr. Tony had taken him out for ice cream at his request and not ordered anything for himself. Apparently the cold and the sweetness combined in a way that made his teeth hurt and he hadn't found a flavor that he thought outweighed that cost. However, Mr. Tony kept the freezer totally stocked to the brim with every flavor imaginable. Everything from vanilla to moose tracks to weirder ones like banana pudding (he hadn't plucked up the courage to dip into that one. This time) was in there, lined up nice and neat.

 

For now though, Harley had settled for a scoop of classic mint chocolate chip and flopped down beside Peter to watch Cutthroat Kitchen. Peter took one disgusted look at the bright green desert in his bowl and silently moved to the other end of the couch along with his bowl of raspberry deluxe birthday cupcake ice cream. Harley rolled his eyes and curled up in his own corner, more than happy to not share.

 

Suddenly, a pair of hands clapped down on his shoulders, and he let out an embarrassingly high-pitched yelp. He looked up to see Riri's upside down face grinning brightly at him. “So, didja tell dad yet?” she asked.

 

Harley ignored her to glare at Peter. “Why didn't you tell me she was coming?”

 

Peter shrugged. “Sorry man, my Spidey-Sense is shit, remember?” he said flatly, then went back to eating his ice cream totally expressionless. Harley knew he was lying though. He hadn't jumped at all. He knew Riri was there. He was just being an asshole. Asshole.

 

Riri apparently found it hilarious though, and she laughed and flipped over the back of the couch to plop right in between them. “Seriously, have you told him yet?” she asked. To add insult to injury, she reached over and plucked his bowl right out of his hands. Asshole. Peter just wrinkled his nose like he'd been force fed a lemon covered in dirt as she started eating the mint chocolate chip ice cream. She made a face back at him. “What's your deal anyway? Is this because spiders hate peppermint?”

 

“They do?” Harley asked, raising his eyebrows. “How do you know that?”

 

“I read,” she shrugged nonchalantly.

 

“It has nothing to do with the bite.  I've thought mint was disgusting since I was a kid,” Peter said haughtily. “I think the cold spiciness is actually awful.”

 

“You stole that off Tumblr.”

 

“We steal pretty much everything we say off Tumblr.”

 

Harley cut in. “Yeah, yeah, originality is dead and all, but the important question here is what the fuck do you do about toothpaste?”

 

“I use bubblegum flavor.” At their disgusted looks, he crossed his arms and stuck his nose in the air. “I don’t have to defend myself to you two.”

 

“Good, because that's unforgivable,” Harley said. “I'm pretty sure I've lost some respect for you Parker.”

 

“Keep your damn respect and your shitty mint ice cream.”

 

Between them, Riri snorted and shoved a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth to muffle the noise, which unfortunately led to her choking and sputtering. “Anyway,” she gasped. “You seriously need to tell him. I'm not sure if Peter can keep it a secret any longer. Tony already thought it was suspicious that you didn't apply in time for the early access acceptance this winter.”

 

“I've been doing a great job at keeping it secret!” Peter protested, scowling at her. “I've known for like four months and I didn't tell him. Didn't even come close!”

 

“Yes, Peter, you did a good job, we’re very proud of you,” Harley said, rolling his eyes.

 

Peter squinted at him. “You know, it's not too late for me to tell him. Hey, FRIDAY, where's Mr. Stark?”

 

“Nonononono!” Harley squawked, leaning forward to uselessly clap his hands over Peter's mouth. “You _cannot_ tell him. Just… Look, you two just give me til the end of the day. If I don't tell him by then, you can tell him, all right?”

 

Riri frowned. “It's not like we want to tell him ourselves. You just have to tell Tony about it, and you're better off doing it sooner rather than later. What are you gonna do for housing while you're there? I'm not sure if Tony has a place in Berkley.”

 

“My scholarship includes books, food and a dorm room,” Harley shrugged. “Pretty sure they'd just give me actual money to go there after the letter Dr. Banner wrote.”

 

Peter let out a low whistle. “That’s impressive.”

 

Harley grinned at him. “I might have casually mentioned that I was thinking about going to MIT if I got a better scholarship there.”

 

“Not to mention, I’m pretty sure every school in the country would love some of that good good Stark money,” Riri pointed out.

 

“Valid point.”

 

“You _are_ planning on telling him, though, right?” Peter asked. “I mean, you said you were making us wait til the end of the day to say anything, but you never said you’d actually say anything.”

 

Harley huffed out a sigh, cheeks puffing up. “Yeah, all right, I’ll tell him today.”

 

“He’s not going to be mad at you, you know that, right?” Riri comforted.

 

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

 

“If for whatever reason he is mad, I’ll do something really dumb on patrol so he’s mad at me instead,” Peter offered.

 

Harley laughed. “Like Riri said, I doubt I’ll need it, but thanks for the support.” He took a deep breath. “I’m gonna go tell him.”

 

“Tell me what?”  In one simultaneous motion, all three of them whipped around to see Mr. Tony standing in the door to the kitchen, crunching on a full-sized carrot. He made a face at them. “Don’t do that anymore,” he said, gesturing at them with his carrot. “The twins from the Shining freaked me out enough when there were just two of them. You three start asking if I’ll play with you and I’m gonna lose it.” At their continued silence, he frowned. “You had something to tell me, right? I mean, unless you formed some deep bond with DUM-E when I wasn’t looking, I’m the only other he around today.”

 

“DUM-E is a saint, and we should treat him with respect,” Peter said automatically.

 

Mr. Tony ignored him. “So, come on. What is it? Spill.”

 

“Peter!” Riri yelped. “I just remembered I need your help with something, come quickly.” She shoved the ice cream bowl back into Harley’s hands, grabbed Peter by the wrist, and dragged him off. Harley stared after her, hoping he showed just how unamused he was.

 

Mr. Tony also watched them leave, an incredulous brow arched high. “Well, that wasn’t suspicious at all,” he said pleasantly.

 

“Master of subtly right there,” Harley agreed.

 

Mr. Tony chuckled and sat down on the couch, right where Riri had been sitting. One hand was holding his snack while the other was stretched across the back of the sofa. Harley silently stirred what was left of his ice cream. Riri had taken maybe a foe bites out of it and left it to melt into weird, cold green soup. Asshole. “So, guessing you’re going to make me ask again?” Mr. Tony asked after the silence had stretched on a beat too long.

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Harley said, stuffing a spoonful of the ice cream soup in his mouth. He wrinkled his nose and tasted nothing but regret.

 

“Is this about you going to Caltech?”

 

Harley choked and coughed and sputtered and gawked at Mr. Tony with wide eyes. “I, ug- You- gah, wha?”

 

Mr. Tony chuckled and ruffled Harley’s hair. “You need a haircut,” he said casually. “I’d say you’re starting to look like Grumpy, but Happy keeps that dog looking immaculate.”

 

“How did you know about Caltech?” Harley asked.

 

“Well, first sign was that President Reif didn’t call me, falling all over herself to assure me that you had a place at MIT like she did with Peter,” he said. “Second, you asked Bruce to write you a letter of recommendation to his alma mater. (Well, one of them.) Of course he’s going to brag about that.”

 

Harley groaned and hid his face in his hands. When Mr. Tony chuckled and gently tugged him, he allowed himself to fall into his mentor’s open side and face planted right into his armpit. He didn’t bother moving. “So you’re not mad?” he asked, his voice quiet from nerves and muffled from the suit jacket in his mouth. It was a wonder Mr. Tony heard him at all.

 

“Course I’m not mad at you, kiddo,” Mr. Tony said gently. “Why the hell would I be mad about this?”

 

“Cause you hate Caltech?”

 

“That I do,” he agreed easily. “However, I’m not ever going to be mad about you doing what’s right for you. I will be pretty bummed I can’t bother you at school whenever I want, though.”

 

“You have a private jet.”

 

Mr. Tony barked out a laugh. “Got me there.” He made a thoughtful humming noise. “Actually, you know what? I am a little mad at you.”

 

Harley sat up straight, his face a little pale. “What?”

 

Mr. Tony grinned. “Yeah, you’re making me go house hunting. In _Berkley_. I hate house hunting and Berkley. Also, come on. Orange? Beavers? Definitely not my style, but now I own like a dozen shirts I have to wear.”

 

Harley rolled his eyes and listened to Mr. Tony laugh for a bit. Then he bit his lip and looked at him. “Promise you’re not mad?”

 

Mr. Tony smiled at him warmly, “I promise.”

 

Harley breathed a sigh of relief he didn’t know he’d been holding for months, and pitched forward to wrap him in a tight hug. “Thanks, dad.”


	3. In Which Peter Eats Something He Knows He Shouldn't

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter discovers that there's no breakfast food. Mr. Stark discovers Peter's solution.

Monday, June 3, 2019 

 

Peter knew he shouldn't do it. He knew it was a bad idea. No, really, he did. But there were no other options he thought to himself as he stared at the things in his hands. The things that would surely spell his doom if he combined them. The worst part was the cloyingly sweet voice that curled around the darker parts of his mind that made him want-- no,  _ need _ to do it. With shaking hands and disgust unfurling in his stomach, he screwed his eyes shut and did it.

 

“Holy shit, you actually did it. What the fuck.” Peter looked up at Riri who was staring down at the bowl of bright orange Dorito crumbs floating in the electric blue Monster Peter had poured over them. Her face was an odd combination of horror, intrigue, and awe Peter had never actually seen on a human’s face before. “Are you actually gonna eat it?”

 

Peter shrugged. “Pretty sure dad would kill me for wasting his last energy drink if I don't. Plus, I would literally rather die than eat oatmeal and we're out of cereal.”

 

“You could just eat a non-breakfast food, you know that, right?” Harley pointed out. Heathen that he was, he was chowing down on cold Chinese food from the night before. 

 

“Literally never speak to me again.” There were some lines that Peter just wasn't going to cross. Combining the sins of cold Chinese food with eating something other than the pre-approved breakfast options before ten in the morning was honestly a crime in his book. 

 

“Would someone please tell me why FRIDAY woke me up at this ungodly hour to tell me that Peter was attempting to eat toxic waste?” The three of them turned at once to look at Mr. Stark who was standing in the doorway,  rubbing his very tired-looking face. “God, just stop that. I'm going to put the three of you up for adoption if you don't stop creeping me out. I'm sure Vision will be a great mentor for you all.”

 

“What do you mean ‘ungodly hour’?” Harley asked. “It's like almost nine. I've been up since six thirty.”

 

“Yeah, well, I was up at six thirty, too,” Mr. Stark sniffed. “Now, about the whole toxic-- Christ, kid, what are you eating?”

 

Peter looked down to see a spoon halfway to his mouth. Funny, he didn't remember picking up his spoon, but the weird artificially sweet and savory taste in his mouth told him he'd had at least a couple bites. He took another bite and actually paid attention to the flavor. Which was a mistake, considering he wasn't actually a huge fan of Monster or Doritos. “Some weird blue Monster you had in the fridge and the crumbs left from the jalapeno Doritos. Tastes like spicy lollipops and regret.” He shoved another spoonful in his mouth.

 

Mr. Stark just stared at him in uncomprehending bafflement like Peter had just casually explained that he was dividing zero by the square root of negative one. He started muttering something under his breath that even Peter's super hearing couldn't perfectly parse out, but sounded suspiciously like the Lord's prayer in Italian. Or maybe Latin. To be perfectly honest, Peter had abandoned the Duolingo owl more times than he cared to admit. Unfortunately, the jack of all trades adage didn't actually apply to languages. “Kid, stop eating that.”

 

“Why?” Peter smiled around the spoon at the slightly nauseated look on Mr. Stark's face. The Doritos were no longer even crunchy to off set every horrible flavor going on in his mouth, but by this point it was a matter of pride, not breakfast. That, and for some reason he seemed physically unable to stop himself. It was like watching a trainwreck where he was the observer, the train, the brick wall the train was crashing into, the conductor who decided to go full steam ahead into the brick wall, the station manager who didn't feel the need to change the tracks to direct the train away from the brick wall, and the dumbass construction worker who decided to build a brick wall directly across the tracks of an oncoming train. 

 

“You are the last person in this room allowed to ask anyone why.”

 

Peter shrugged. “There wasn't anything else to eat, so it seemed like a fine idea at the time.”

 

Mr. Stark scowled and stared at nothing, reminding Peter of that reaction image of the lady who couldn't figure out a math problem. He snickered quietly to himself at the thought of Tony Stark not being able to solve a math problem. Though, to be fair, he and Ned had actually attempted to solve the math in the picture and it came up nonsense, so maybe even Tony Stark would be baffled by that particular set of numbers. “There is too stuff to eat other than whatever it is you're actively poisoning yourself with. 

 

“Doritos and Monster are both perfectly fine for you.”

 

“False,” Harley said instantly. “Most energy drinks have 80 milligrams of caffeine in them, but the size Monster you're drinking has twice that, putting you dangerously close to caffeine poisoning. Not to mention, all energy drinks cause you to release adrenaline, which boosts your heart rate, and with your freaky biology it's dangerous to tamper with that kind of stuff.” He narrowed his eyes and pointed his chopsticks at Mr. Stark. “Honestly, with your heart condition, you shouldn't even look at those things.”

 

“Plus two non-dangerous substances can combine to make something very lethal, indeed,” Riri piped in. “Carbon and oxygen are both perfectly fine on their own, but they can be dangerous when combined.”

 

Peter looked aghast at Riri. “You were the one who told me to do it in the first place.”

 

She smirked. “I'm an Aries. You definitely should have listened to Mr.Aquarius over there.”

 

Peter puffed out his cheeks and blew a raspberry at her, to which she merely rolled her eyes. He turned his attention back to Mr. Stark. “We are seriously out of breakfast food.”

 

“He means were out of Pop-Tarts and cereal,” Riri cut in.

 

Mr. Stark's brow furrowed further. “Then why didn't you just have something that wasn't breakfast food?”

 

“That's what I said.” 

 

“You are an enemy to me, Keener,” Peter snapped. “You're not supposed to eat non-breakfast foods at breakfast. That's why there's a whole category of food dedicated to one particular meal.”

 

“But  _ this _ is fine?” Mr. Stark asked, gesturing at the bowl. 

 

“Well, it's definitely not a non-breakfast food.”

 

“That's because it's not any kind of food.”

 

“Maybe so.”

 

“Christ on a bike your guardians don’t get paid enough to deal with you,” Mr. Stark sighed. “Okay, then. Everyone get-- Pete, I swear, don’t you dare put that in your mouth.” Peter sulkily lowered his spoon. “All right. Everyone, get in the car. We’re going shopping.”

 

Harley let out a loud whoop and Peter swore he leapt straight over the counter, though Harley would always claim that he’d simply walked quickly. “I call shotgun!” he shouted, barreling out the door.

 

“That’s not fair!” Riri shouted, scrambling after him.

 

“Sucks to suck!”

 

Mr. Stark rolled his eyes, but Peter easily saw through to the fondness underneath as he heaved himself to his feet. “All right, kid, come on. Pop-Tarts and frozen waffles wait for no man.”   
  


Peter grinned widely, and dumped his monstrous (ha! Get it?) concoction down the garbage disposal, ignoring Mr. Stark’s muttered displeasure. He was going to buy So Many pickles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have exciting news!! In order to have a Halloween special, I have actually concocted a posting schedule for this fic! Every day for the next two weeks I'm going to post a chapter every other day, and I'm going to post one chapter every day the last weekend of September. Then through October there will be weekly updates on Wednesdays at 6:30/7:30 Central. Get excited! It's gonna be like a TV show!


	4. In Which Tony Watches Harry Potter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley and Riri are left home alone while Peter goes off to fight crime. But they have Grumpy and a blu-ray box set of the Harry Potter movies, so who's the real winner here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! So far I've actually managed to keep up with this posting schedule! Granted this is only the second day, but shhhh...

Tuesday, June 4, 2019

 

“Have either of you seen the kid?”

 

Harley cranes his neck to look at Happy upside down over the back of the couch. “You're gonna have to be more specific, Mr. Happy. By all accounts, all three of us are ‘the kid'. Also, did you bring your dog?’”

 

“You both know damn well I'm talking about Peter,” Mr. Happy said, rubbing his temples with one hand. Harley grinned. He was genuinely _so_ easy to wind up. “And, yes, Grumpy is outside playing.”

 

“You're looking for Peter?” Riri asked, rolling over in her pile of blankets so she could cup her chin in her hands and level Mr. Happy with a proper stare. “Curly brown hair, doe eyes to make Bambi jealous, always manages to be the second shortest person in the room?” At the affirmative grunt, a wide grin curled over her cheeks. “Yeah, I've seen him before.”

 

Harley snickered while Mr. Happy sighed and muttered something under his breath about how he was never having children and that dogs wouldn't treat him like this. He grunted, and turned away from their giggling. “FRIDAY, tell Peter that if he's not here in less than five minutes that I'm leaving without him.”

 

“Wait, wait, wait! I'm here!”

 

Harley sat up just in time to see Peter skid into the room, arms flailing and nearly tripping over his own feet, decked out in his full Spider-Man getup. “You going somewhere?” Harley asked, hiking up a brow. “Costume party, maybe?”

 

Peter shook his head, and Harley was absently glad that the mask was still fisted in his hand instead of on his face. The moving eyes were a smart innovation, but they were creepy as hell. “No. Mr. Stark and May agreed that while this is supposed to be a vacation that I'm allowed to go on patrol every Tuesday and Thursday.”

 

“That's not fair!” Riri protested. “He _still_ hasn't even cleared me for team missions!”

 

Harley frowned at her. “I thought you didn't actually even want to be a superhero just yet.”

 

Riri stuck her nose in the air. “Just because I don't want to doesn't mean I don't want the option.”

 

“Well, when you get that option, let me know,” Mr. Happy said, his tone holding no humor and even less patience. “In the meantime, kid, let's _go._ "

 

“Coming!”

 

Harley watched with a smirk as Peter scrambled after Mr. Happy who had already stormed out the front door. “It's cute that he pretends he doesn't like us.”

 

Riri snorted. “It's even funnier that Peter falls for it.”

 

Harley grinned at her. “You wanna go play with Grumpy?”

 

“Hell yeah, I do.”

 

***_*_*_*_***

 

The thing about Grumpy was that she was very much not grumpy in the slightest. She was fluffy and happy and loved to lay on people. She was also a Tibetan Mastiff, meaning she was ridiculously massive, fluffy to a fault, and drooled buckets on anything she was given access to.

 

She was the best dog in the world.

 

“I fucking love this dog,” Harley wheezed out, his breath short and labored from where Grumpy was very contentedly flopped across his chest. Riri, who had Grumpy’s bear-sized head taking up the whole of her lap cooed out her agreement. “I'm pretty sure I could die here and be satisfied with my quality of life.”

 

“Judging from the way your voice sounds, you're not too far off.”

 

Harley squirmed to remove his arm to give her the middle finger, but Grumpy suddenly got to her feet and bounded over to where Mr. Tony had entered the room, hot coffee in his hand. “Aw, guys,” he grunted, struggling to not spill his mug as Grumpy got up on her hind legs and rested her paws on his shoulders. “You know the rules: Grumpy is supposed to be an outside dog here.”

 

“But she looked so sad and lonely outside at night,” Riri said, her forehead crumpling with what Harley immediately recognized to be exaggerated concern. “Besides, we were having a Harry Potter marat hm on waiting for Peter to get back from patrol, and she would make a great Fluffy.”

 

Harley watched, slightly smug, as Mr. Tony's resolve crumbled right before his eyes. “Okay, fine. She can stay inside. But she is definitely not getting on the couch.”

 

“She can't fit on the couch comfortably anyways,” Harley shrugged. “We tried, but she's too much of a lap dog.”

 

Mr. Tony looked Grumpy over with a critical eye like he was trying to figure out how in the world she was meant to fit in any lap, but dismissed the thought with a shake if the head. “Pete should be getting back soon. FRIDAY, eta?”

 

“Spider-Baby and Happy will be arriving in approximately 45 minutes.”

 

“Perfect.”

 

“You want to watch the rest on Prisoner of Azkaban with us?” Harley asked, not bothering to hide the eagerness in his voice.

 

Mr. Tony smirked, then draped himself across one of the couches. “I haven't seen these movies before, so y lm give me a rundown.”

 

Both Riri and Harley made twin noises of disgust and tag teamed a very brief crash course on the first two and a half movies. By the time they were finished, they were slumped on both of Mr. Tony’s sides, and Grumpy had her head in his lap, drooling like she always did.

 

Their movie was interrupted just before the credits by Peter bounding in, energy levels through the roof with a “Guys, guys, guys! You'll never _believe_ what happened! Are you watching Prisoner of Azkaban? I love those movies! We should marathon them!”

 

Mr. Happy followed him in shortly after. “No grievous physical injuries to report,” he said. “Come on, Grumpy.” Despite the whines of complaints at the order, Grumpy heaved herself to her feet and loped to Mr. Happy’s side. “See you tomorrow, Tony.”

 

“Bye, Hap.”

 

“So, what happened that got your spandex all twisted?” Riri asked Peter, her lax tone belied by the way she eagerly leaned forward.

 

“I think I might have gotten an arch enemy!” Peter said, eyes sparkling with unrestrained glee. “He goes by Green Goblin and he's got all sorts of weird tools and stuff. Like an evil Batman. Oh! And he's got a hoverboard! Like a real one that flies and stuff!”

 

Harley could feel his own cheeks splitting into his own delighted grin. “Holy shit that's so cool! What's his--"

 

“Peter, don't go after this guy.” Harley turned his head to look at Mr. Tony, shocked. Peter hadn't been banned from going after bad guys in over a year, but judging by the dark, stormy look on Mr. Tony's face, this was more serious than they had anticipated. “I mean it, kiddo. You leave this one alone. You hear about him making a mess and you swing the other way. Got it?”

 

“But Mr. Stark--"

 

“I'm serious, Peter.”

 

Peter seemed to deflate under Mr. Tony's fierce look. “Got it,” he said glumly.

 

Mr. Tony frowned, his forehead crumpled between his eyebrow, then sighed. “Look, I'm sorry, kid. I wouldn't do this if it wasn't important, okay?”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Okay!” Riri said loudly. “This conversation is a serious bummer, so let's watch a movie.”

 

“Yeah!” Harley agreed enthusiastically, quickly catching on. “The fourth movie is arguably the worst, but--"

 

“How can you even say that when the sixth movie exists?” Riri scoffed.

 

“Okay, that's fair. Arguably the second worst, but still somehow good.”

 

“Agreed.”

 

The two of them went about setting up the next movie, then went back to their original places. Peter soon joined their pile, but he and Mr. Tony were uncomfortably tense. But by the time they get to the dragons, Mr. Tony was properly relaxed, and Peter was conked out fast asleep, and drooling slightly on Harley's shoulder. He told himself he wouldn't tease Peter for it in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! If you liked Grumpy, she's actually the brain puppy of KC and you can see her and all her fluffy glory at work in his fic [Fragile and Composed.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15623904) I will warn you now: I did cry. Okay, see you all on Sunday for the next chapter! Hint: Riri gets a new dress!

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, FRIDAY does have code names for all of them. Harley is Boss Baby, Riri is Iron Baby, and Peter is Spider-Baby around people who know his identity and Geek Baby around those who don't. Don't @ me


End file.
